[Ulla won't go quite so far as to say she's pleased, but it could be
much worse. She'd hate anyone learning about Signy without her consent;
about how important she was to Ulla or about her betrayal. She already
told him that part. She doesn't much care what else is in the
file.]
No? [She doesn't even know what that would entail.
She's on her way to him now. She'll count cabin doors until she
thinks she has the right one, since she can't actually read the numbers.
She probably ought to learn those, at least, since they're unavoidable
here.]
[ The door will open since he was waiting for her and he'll hold a hand towards the interior in an invitation in. It's the inside of a space ship, specifically his cabin there. Everything is constructed in such a way that it can dock or be strapped in. For good reason. There's three doors branching off from it: one a kitchen, one a bathroom, and one that appears to be a storage closet. On the table is her file. Beside it is an electronic device that he's loaded up with his file. ]
"Coming right up," he says before gesturing to the table. "The file's on the table. I loaded mine onto a device you can use to listen to it. Has anyone shown you an MP3 player?"
He slips into the kitchen and comes out with a small fruit platter, not nearly as impressive as the other one. This is just cubed melons arranged artfully enough on the plate. He'll put it on the table before gesturing to the chair across from the one he clearly intends to take.
"So I have read through your file," he tells her plainly. "I can read it out to you. If you'd like."
"I do understand why you're here," he says with a slow nod, "but..." he looks up at her, "I have spent the time since I read this? Making myself not message Jacobi. To ask if he knows a way to demolish a castle underwater."
He glances down at the file.
"...there is not a person in this file. Other than you? I don't want to punch in the face. Repeatedly." He looks back to her. "You deserve better. You deserved better."
Ulla goes very still, her eyes widening. She doesn't trust his sincerity.
And moreover, she doesn't know what to do with it.
She's silent for a long moment, because what is there to say to someone
telling you that you deserve better than anyone in anyone in your life has
ever given you?
"Roffe has the sort of face it would be a particular pleasure to punch,"
she notes. That's the easiest part to respond to. The rest... "Since when
do people get what they deserve?"
Roffe and Signy will, if Ulla has her way. But she's here, with no way to
get at them unless she graduates.
Her response is? Pretty much what he was expecting. And he’s pleased that he’s got that kind of read on her, because it speaks well to what they’re going into. He didn’t tell her that for brownie points or to try and curry her trust; he’s well aware, given what she went through, that he’ll have to earn that up hills both ways in the snow without shoes.
And he’s here for it.
“They don’t,” he agrees with her, “unless… someone does something about it.”
He takes a piece of fruit himself.
“So… what do we want to do about it?” He dips his head to her. “I’m not skipping out on responsibility here. But I graduated from a partnership. So I happen to think that’s how it works best. I won’t expect, or demand, trust. When, or if, you do? It’ll be earned. It’ll happen when, or if, it’s going to happen. But I will do my damndest to be genuine with you. And up front. And if you ever have a question of me, you’ll get the best answer I have.”
The doubtful look in Ulla's eyes says that she doesn't expect to trust him,
or anyone, again. She doesn't want to. She can feel the tug of it
every time she likes someone here. The way liking leads to friendship
leads to trust. And so she stops at the first step, not wanting any true
friends. Not wanting the temptation to lean on anyone. To need them.
"I do," he says with a nod, "which is why I'm going to play with my cards completely on the table, including all the awkward. unhelpful. emotional. irrational. and frankly? embarrassing parts. out there for you to see. And when you hear my file? You'll get a taste of how... hard. That is for me. Straightforward? Is not how I've ever operated."
He takes a piece of fruit and lets his shoulders drop.
"It's messy. But. It is what it is."
He pops it into his mouth, chews and swallows.
"Is there anything specifically. that you'd like to know. right off the bat?"
"The more open people are, the more vulnerabilities they share." She
recognizes it as a gesture of trust, or more likely an overture - an
attempt to earn hers.
Ulla was always straightforward. Even now, she's not quite sure how to be
otherwise. "I was never very good at hiding mine. Roffe scolded me for it,
saying that that ambition ought to be guarded like a secret, not shouted
like a curse." And she liked him for it then. For letting her see
the cunning hidden under his charm.
Ulla wants to listen to Warren's file before she asks about him. She
doesn't know what to ask. So she asks about herself, instead. "Not yet.
Does your promise not to take my magic from me hold true?" He knows what
she can do with it now.
Both and neither; he won’t ask for trust, and this is the closest thing he can offer to her. To the first comment, he huffs in disdain.
“‘Roffe’ had the luxury of being able to hide his ambition. Not because he was good at it? But because a lack of ambition in the rich and powerful, combined with mediocrity? Is almost expected. Whereas people like you. Brilliant and underappreciated? People will assume ambition regardless. They know perfectly well that you’re not stupid enough to accept how you’re treated now. What he did to you… it’s called ‘negging’. It’s used to make you feel smaller. Less. More vulnerable. Less capable than you are. It’s to convince you that you need them for something.”
He tilts his head.
“You’ll discover that I’ve done a lot of horrible things. By listening to that file. But that? Is the kind of thing I cannot abide.”
He spreads a hand towards her because he knows, ultimately, her main concern is the last question.
“Your magic? I will never take that from you. Even if you kill me. Even if you kill Jacobi. Even if a dozen people in this place tell me that I should. Even if you drown us all. It is not happening.”
He looks to her face.
“I’ve read that file. And I know how to read a file. I know how to read between the lines on people. It’s part of what I did for years in my job. And quite frankly? You’re one of the only people on this boat. That feels like my kind of people. The kind of person I would have demanded I get to recruit.”
He lets his shoulders sink a little.
“If you use magic in a way I don’t like? There will be a damn good reason. I know that. Already. And my first priority? Will be to find out what that reason is. Not make you ‘less’.”
Ulla studies him as he talks, drinks in his vehemence as he lists examples.
Trust isn't something she's willing to give, but he seems sincere enough
that she can at least summon up cautious optimism. "Thank you."
After a small pause, she admits, "I work custodial shifts because cleaning
magic is easy and because Arthur promised to speak on my behalf if a warden
ever wanted to take my power from me. It's little enough leverage, but it
was what I had, when I had no idea who my warden would be." She'll probably
keep showing up to work, but she feels less like she has to.
"And I suppose the Admiral did the recruiting, but we're bound together
now."
He nods, because he gets that. He'd worked in various positions on the Barge to engender good opinions of himself, a half-dozen favors worth of good will he could call on if he needed them. Some of those people aren't here anymore, but he doesn't regret doing it. They might come back, after all.
"Do you think you can keep up with the pool, given the changes we made? I'm assuming they were so the place'd be more hospitable for you?"
But he keeps going, addressing the last.
"We're paired, that's true enough. But if you ever feel like you can't work with me? Or something I've done makes you uncomfortable... I would be willing to put in a request to unpair us. Now... I don't see that happening. And I don't want it to happen? And I can't think of something I'd want to do that I see you being upset by. But. I'll make that promise right now."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
After the announcement | video
I have your file. I haven’t read it yet. And I don’t object to holding off. If you need a little time to adjust to the idea.
I’m- honestly? I’m pretty happy with that result. But I’d understand if you weren’t. Just let me know how you want to handle this.
Re: After the announcement | video
[Ulla won't go quite so far as to say she's pleased, but it could be much worse. She'd hate anyone learning about Signy without her consent; about how important she was to Ulla or about her betrayal. She already told him that part. She doesn't much care what else is in the file.]
There are worse wardens he could have given me.
You can read it.
Re: After the announcement | video
Now, I’ll have it read before we meet. Would you like to see it yourself? And would you like to see my file.
You’ll like it. It’s in audio clips.
Re: After the announcement | video
It wouldn't do me much good if it weren't audible. If you're offering, I'll take it.
Re: After the announcement | video
[ A faint smile. ]
Or apparently Jacobi's singing things to you now? But all the same. Whenever you're ready.
Re: After the announcement | video
He makes interesting choices of melody. [He sang about murder to the tune of Taylor Swift songs.] It was entertaining, though.
I'm ready.
no subject
Are you coming here? Or am I going there?
no subject
I can come to you. I have legs at the moment. [It's less of a chore traveling around the ship.]
Where should I go?
no subject
...has anyone ever let you experience zero gravity before?
no subject
No? [She doesn't even know what that would entail.
She's on her way to him now. She'll count cabin doors until she thinks she has the right one, since she can't actually read the numbers. She probably ought to learn those, at least, since they're unavoidable here.]
no subject
I have fruit. And juice. Would you like anything?
no subject
Ulla looks around curiously. It's nothing at all like the human rooms she saw in Söndermane.
"I would take a piece of fruit." Even if she knows that pleasantries aren't why she's here.
no subject
He slips into the kitchen and comes out with a small fruit platter, not nearly as impressive as the other one. This is just cubed melons arranged artfully enough on the plate. He'll put it on the table before gesturing to the chair across from the one he clearly intends to take.
"So I have read through your file," he tells her plainly. "I can read it out to you. If you'd like."
no subject
"No, not yet." She's guessing it's what's next to the paper file, but has no idea how to work it.
As for her own, "I have an idea of what it must say. I lived it." It's not quite a yes or a no.
no subject
"Obviously. But I also realize, from having read it? That you've never had much control over how people view you."
He looks to the paper file.
"Did you want to know what I think?"
no subject
It's true enough, but whatever she was expecting, it wasn't that bit of insight.
Ulla eyes him warily, but nods. "Alright."
no subject
He glances down at the file.
"...there is not a person in this file. Other than you? I don't want to punch in the face. Repeatedly." He looks back to her. "You deserve better. You deserved better."
no subject
Ulla goes very still, her eyes widening. She doesn't trust his sincerity. And moreover, she doesn't know what to do with it.
She's silent for a long moment, because what is there to say to someone telling you that you deserve better than anyone in anyone in your life has ever given you?
"Roffe has the sort of face it would be a particular pleasure to punch," she notes. That's the easiest part to respond to. The rest... "Since when do people get what they deserve?"
Roffe and Signy will, if Ulla has her way. But she's here, with no way to get at them unless she graduates.
no subject
And he’s here for it.
“They don’t,” he agrees with her, “unless… someone does something about it.”
He takes a piece of fruit himself.
“So… what do we want to do about it?” He dips his head to her. “I’m not skipping out on responsibility here. But I graduated from a partnership. So I happen to think that’s how it works best. I won’t expect, or demand, trust. When, or if, you do? It’ll be earned. It’ll happen when, or if, it’s going to happen. But I will do my damndest to be genuine with you. And up front. And if you ever have a question of me, you’ll get the best answer I have.”
no subject
The doubtful look in Ulla's eyes says that she doesn't expect to trust him, or anyone, again. She doesn't want to. She can feel the tug of it every time she likes someone here. The way liking leads to friendship leads to trust. And so she stops at the first step, not wanting any true friends. Not wanting the temptation to lean on anyone. To need them.
"You know how my last partnership ended."
no subject
He takes a piece of fruit and lets his shoulders drop.
"It's messy. But. It is what it is."
He pops it into his mouth, chews and swallows.
"Is there anything specifically. that you'd like to know. right off the bat?"
no subject
"The more open people are, the more vulnerabilities they share." She recognizes it as a gesture of trust, or more likely an overture - an attempt to earn hers.
Ulla was always straightforward. Even now, she's not quite sure how to be otherwise. "I was never very good at hiding mine. Roffe scolded me for it, saying that that ambition ought to be guarded like a secret, not shouted like a curse." And she liked him for it then. For letting her see the cunning hidden under his charm.
Ulla wants to listen to Warren's file before she asks about him. She doesn't know what to ask. So she asks about herself, instead. "Not yet. Does your promise not to take my magic from me hold true?" He knows what she can do with it now.
no subject
“‘Roffe’ had the luxury of being able to hide his ambition. Not because he was good at it? But because a lack of ambition in the rich and powerful, combined with mediocrity? Is almost expected. Whereas people like you. Brilliant and underappreciated? People will assume ambition regardless. They know perfectly well that you’re not stupid enough to accept how you’re treated now. What he did to you… it’s called ‘negging’. It’s used to make you feel smaller. Less. More vulnerable. Less capable than you are. It’s to convince you that you need them for something.”
He tilts his head.
“You’ll discover that I’ve done a lot of horrible things. By listening to that file. But that? Is the kind of thing I cannot abide.”
He spreads a hand towards her because he knows, ultimately, her main concern is the last question.
“Your magic? I will never take that from you. Even if you kill me. Even if you kill Jacobi. Even if a dozen people in this place tell me that I should. Even if you drown us all. It is not happening.”
He looks to her face.
“I’ve read that file. And I know how to read a file. I know how to read between the lines on people. It’s part of what I did for years in my job. And quite frankly? You’re one of the only people on this boat. That feels like my kind of people. The kind of person I would have demanded I get to recruit.”
He lets his shoulders sink a little.
“If you use magic in a way I don’t like? There will be a damn good reason. I know that. Already. And my first priority? Will be to find out what that reason is. Not make you ‘less’.”
no subject
Ulla studies him as he talks, drinks in his vehemence as he lists examples. Trust isn't something she's willing to give, but he seems sincere enough that she can at least summon up cautious optimism. "Thank you."
After a small pause, she admits, "I work custodial shifts because cleaning magic is easy and because Arthur promised to speak on my behalf if a warden ever wanted to take my power from me. It's little enough leverage, but it was what I had, when I had no idea who my warden would be." She'll probably keep showing up to work, but she feels less like she has to.
"And I suppose the Admiral did the recruiting, but we're bound together now."
no subject
"Do you think you can keep up with the pool, given the changes we made? I'm assuming they were so the place'd be more hospitable for you?"
But he keeps going, addressing the last.
"We're paired, that's true enough. But if you ever feel like you can't work with me? Or something I've done makes you uncomfortable... I would be willing to put in a request to unpair us. Now... I don't see that happening. And I don't want it to happen? And I can't think of something I'd want to do that I see you being upset by. But. I'll make that promise right now."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)