Ulla nods. "Singing things that aren't alive is actually much simpler than
plants or animals, because you don't need to teach anything how to take
sustenance and survive. The hard part of this was arranging it all."
She nods, turning her gaze to Ulla, her smile relaxed.
"Did you still want to work on learning to read?" She offers the books - they're both thick, but just because they're made of something sturdier than paper, some kind of pliable plastic.
Ulla nods again. "I think I ought to. I wouldn't want to risk getting anyone's file and not being able to read it." The most important motivation, though obviously it wouldn't hurt to know for when she goes home with Warren and Jacobi anyway.
She accepts the books and fingers the pages in one of them. A slow, incredulous smile spreads over her face. "Did you find me waterproof books?"
She grins, bouncing just a little on the balls of her feet. "Turns out a flooded city is a great place to find things that can handle some water. I don't know either of these stories, but they looked interesting enough to spend time picking through, and they-" She moves to Ulla's side as she talks, to touch the other side of a page. "They have wide margins. So you can copy out letters or words if you want to."
Taylor bouncing excitedly is adorable, and she can't help finding it charming. The books are also a lovely gesture, and Ulla feels a sharp tug of affection toward Taylor.
Which is still nerve wracking enough to unsettle her stomach, but isn't quite so terrible now that she's had a talk with Warren.
"That was very thoughtful of you. I appreciate it." She heads for a little bench cut into one wall, beckoning for Taylor to come sit with her.
She folds a leg under herself as she sits, leaning back against the ornamented stone. "I love books. Always have. I thought you should have some of your own. I hope they're good," she adds, with a crooked grin. She hadn't had nearly enough time in the bookshop.
She nods, with a wry smile. "I learned to read music, but I wasn't
particularly motivated when it came to words. Even when Warren gave me his
file, it was recorded, not written."
So she doesn't know anything. Except, "I recognize the numbers for each
deck now, but that's all."
"Right. Then this might help." Taylor fishes a card out of her pocket, written on another piece of plastic. "This is the alphabet, here. That's all the letters we're working with, in lower case, which is what you'll see most of the time, and upper case, which is for certain kinds of emphasis, kind of like a key change. And this..." She leans closer to show her the sentence at the bottom of the card, fingertip following the words. "Says 'The quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog.' It's the simplest sentence that uses all of the letters in English. So it's a good one to remember while you're learning."
Ulla leans in to peer at the card Taylor is holding. She tries to focus on
the task at hand, going so far as to softly repeat, "The quick red fox
jumps over the lazy brown dog," but the second their shoulders touch, all
she can think about is Taylor. The warmth radiating off of her in the cool
grotto air, and how much Ulla craves more contact than this.
Ulla considers a second before deciding, "We ought to go over the letters,
but will you read a little first?"
She wonders if she'll appreciate Taylor reading the same way she
appreciates people singing. Nothing quite compares to music, but there's a
cadence and a beauty to stories, when they're well told.
Taylor's smile brightens a little as she glances up at Ulla, eyes lingering for just a moment. Then she picks out the smaller of the two books. "This one's called "Pull the Moon Down."
Opening it, she skims down the brief paragraph of text on the first page, and begins to read. The story is in verse, about the water of the ocean wanting to meet the seas in the moon, and Taylor reads it in a low, steady voice, easily getting into the meter of the poem.
She appreciates the cadence of the verse, and, predictably, starts
composing music to go along with it in the back of her mind.
Ulla tries to keep her eyes on the page, to follow along, but eventually,
her gaze is pulled toward Taylor's face. Her head bowed over the page, her
lips forming the words. She lingers there for a moment, and when Taylor
reaches a natural pause, Ulla can't resist.
Even if the angle isn't quite right for a proper kiss, she leans in to
press one to the corner of Taylor's mouth.
In the moment of it, the only thing Taylor finds surprising is how ready for this she is. She turns into the kiss, book forgotten on her knees as she lifts a hand to curl around the side of Ulla's neck, her lips just parting as she breathes her in. Smiling against her lips.
When she draws back, just enough to look into her eyes, her thumb moves in little brushes against the line of Ulla's jaw. "Scion, you're perfect."
That was far from the worst reaction Ulla was picturing, and an answering
smile spreads across her face.
"I'm really not," she protests wryly. "I've never done this before, unless
that breach counts. I've never wanted to, except with Signy."
So the entire thing was terrifying, and Warren had to talk her through the
tangled mess of her own feelings before she could even consider doing
anything about them. She has no idea how she'll cope when he leaves.
But she really doesn't want to think about that right now, with Taylor
touching her and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky.
And that look deserves honesty. Ulla wraps her arm around Taylor's
shoulders, tipping her head so their foreheads come to rest against each
other. Nothing left for it but to tip over the precipice and hope she's
caught in the welcoming embrace of the sea, rather than dashed to pieces on
the rocks.
"I was afraid," she admits softly. "I am afraid. And I don't know
what I'm doing. But I want this."
Taylor is so good. Ulla's eyes slip closed for a second at the fingers in
her hair, then she leans in to kiss Taylor again, lingering a moment,
savoring it.
When she pulls away, she clarifies even more quietly, "I'm not scared of
anything we might do. But I'm always scared of the way loving
anyone—wanting them, trusting them—gives them hooks into your heart. The
ability to hurt you. It's entirely because of Signy. You've never
done anything wrong, with me."
She nods, putting the books aside so she can take Ulla's hand, fingers slipping between hers with a light squeeze. "It's smart, I think, to be scared of feeling that strongly," she says, words no louder than it takes to cross the inches between them. "I promise, I'll listen to you when you're scared."
Ulla isn't always good at being kind when she's afraid. For proof,
just look at how she acted when Taylor cornered her after that breach. But
she doesn't want to hurt Taylor, and she thinks it's a good sign that she
managed to go talk things through with Warren rather than blindly lashing
out, this time around. She can try to carve out that sort of space for
herself when she needs it. So she just nods and squeezes Taylor's hand in
return, with a soft, "Thank you."
She shifts the arm around Taylor's shoulders so she can bury her free hand
in the other woman's curls, cradling the back of her head. "Do you want to
stay here tonight? I have blankets, and I'd like the company."
It isn't just that she knows Taylor would rather not sleep alone. She has
no experience with any other parts of a relationship, but she knows she
likes this. It was the only thing she did have, with Signy. Nights
curled in bed together, holding hands, legs intertwined, laughing and
talking till late into the night.
There are burn scars in her hair, tight skin at the nape of her neck. Taylor exhales quietly when Ulla touches them, tilting her head back against that hand. It feels good, anyone holding right there.
"I'd love to stay. You don't mind sleeping like this?" She touches one of Ulla's legs, just a light brush.
Ulla shakes her head, smiling. "Not at all. Transformations hurt,
and they're hardly worth doing unless I plan on staying in one shape for
more than a day. I once spent three months in human form, in my own world.
Here, I usually miss the water after a week or two and change back."
A pause, and then she adds, "If I spend more time in human form than I have
been lately, it isn't entirely because of you, or this. I'd stopped
changing when the button appeared in the warden lounge. Because it would
kill me if I were mid-transformation when it was pressed. But I don't have
to worry about that anymore, and I like having legs some of the time."
"Oh," the invitation surprises her, and she's not sure what to do with it.
She never expects to see her own family again. The closest she has these
days is Warren, who feels more like a part of her heart than anything else.
But she's met Kiryu before, and he and Trixie matter to Taylor. It
doesn't even occur to her to say no. "Of course. I'd like that. He showed
me how to use the karaoke machines awhile ago, you know, but since I can't
read, I just chose songs at random and invented nonsense lyrics for them."
She smiles, with a breath of a laugh. "Wish I'd been there for that. I... I've been working on listening for singing, with the bugs. It's harder than understanding speech, they don't have the same sensitivities for pitch. But I want to."
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"Just... wow. Did you sing all of this?"
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Ulla nods. "Singing things that aren't alive is actually much simpler than plants or animals, because you don't need to teach anything how to take sustenance and survive. The hard part of this was arranging it all."
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"Did you still want to work on learning to read?" She offers the books - they're both thick, but just because they're made of something sturdier than paper, some kind of pliable plastic.
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Ulla nods again. "I think I ought to. I wouldn't want to risk getting anyone's file and not being able to read it." The most important motivation, though obviously it wouldn't hurt to know for when she goes home with Warren and Jacobi anyway.
She accepts the books and fingers the pages in one of them. A slow, incredulous smile spreads over her face. "Did you find me waterproof books?"
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Taylor bouncing excitedly is adorable, and she can't help finding it charming. The books are also a lovely gesture, and Ulla feels a sharp tug of affection toward Taylor.
Which is still nerve wracking enough to unsettle her stomach, but isn't quite so terrible now that she's had a talk with Warren.
"That was very thoughtful of you. I appreciate it." She heads for a little bench cut into one wall, beckoning for Taylor to come sit with her.
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"Are we starting from scratch?"
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She nods, with a wry smile. "I learned to read music, but I wasn't particularly motivated when it came to words. Even when Warren gave me his file, it was recorded, not written."
So she doesn't know anything. Except, "I recognize the numbers for each deck now, but that's all."
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Ulla leans in to peer at the card Taylor is holding. She tries to focus on the task at hand, going so far as to softly repeat, "The quick red fox jumps over the lazy brown dog," but the second their shoulders touch, all she can think about is Taylor. The warmth radiating off of her in the cool grotto air, and how much Ulla craves more contact than this.
She takes a slow breath.
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"Do you want me to take you through the alphabet first, each letter and what sounds they make, or read aloud and you can follow along?"
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Ulla considers a second before deciding, "We ought to go over the letters, but will you read a little first?"
She wonders if she'll appreciate Taylor reading the same way she appreciates people singing. Nothing quite compares to music, but there's a cadence and a beauty to stories, when they're well told.
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Opening it, she skims down the brief paragraph of text on the first page, and begins to read. The story is in verse, about the water of the ocean wanting to meet the seas in the moon, and Taylor reads it in a low, steady voice, easily getting into the meter of the poem.
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She appreciates the cadence of the verse, and, predictably, starts composing music to go along with it in the back of her mind.
Ulla tries to keep her eyes on the page, to follow along, but eventually, her gaze is pulled toward Taylor's face. Her head bowed over the page, her lips forming the words. She lingers there for a moment, and when Taylor reaches a natural pause, Ulla can't resist.
Even if the angle isn't quite right for a proper kiss, she leans in to press one to the corner of Taylor's mouth.
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When she draws back, just enough to look into her eyes, her thumb moves in little brushes against the line of Ulla's jaw. "Scion, you're perfect."
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That was far from the worst reaction Ulla was picturing, and an answering smile spreads across her face.
"I'm really not," she protests wryly. "I've never done this before, unless that breach counts. I've never wanted to, except with Signy."
So the entire thing was terrifying, and Warren had to talk her through the tangled mess of her own feelings before she could even consider doing anything about them. She has no idea how she'll cope when he leaves. But she really doesn't want to think about that right now, with Taylor touching her and looking at her like she hung the moon in the sky.
And that look deserves honesty. Ulla wraps her arm around Taylor's shoulders, tipping her head so their foreheads come to rest against each other. Nothing left for it but to tip over the precipice and hope she's caught in the welcoming embrace of the sea, rather than dashed to pieces on the rocks.
"I was afraid," she admits softly. "I am afraid. And I don't know what I'm doing. But I want this."
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"I do too," she says softly, still watching her from so close. "Ulla. We can do whatever we want with this."
She gets the fear, or she gets that there is fear, but touching her like this, Taylor isn't sure she could be afraid of anything.
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Taylor is so good. Ulla's eyes slip closed for a second at the fingers in her hair, then she leans in to kiss Taylor again, lingering a moment, savoring it.
When she pulls away, she clarifies even more quietly, "I'm not scared of anything we might do. But I'm always scared of the way loving anyone—wanting them, trusting them—gives them hooks into your heart. The ability to hurt you. It's entirely because of Signy. You've never done anything wrong, with me."
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Ulla isn't always good at being kind when she's afraid. For proof, just look at how she acted when Taylor cornered her after that breach. But she doesn't want to hurt Taylor, and she thinks it's a good sign that she managed to go talk things through with Warren rather than blindly lashing out, this time around. She can try to carve out that sort of space for herself when she needs it. So she just nods and squeezes Taylor's hand in return, with a soft, "Thank you."
She shifts the arm around Taylor's shoulders so she can bury her free hand in the other woman's curls, cradling the back of her head. "Do you want to stay here tonight? I have blankets, and I'd like the company."
It isn't just that she knows Taylor would rather not sleep alone. She has no experience with any other parts of a relationship, but she knows she likes this. It was the only thing she did have, with Signy. Nights curled in bed together, holding hands, legs intertwined, laughing and talking till late into the night.
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"I'd love to stay. You don't mind sleeping like this?" She touches one of Ulla's legs, just a light brush.
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Ulla shakes her head, smiling. "Not at all. Transformations hurt, and they're hardly worth doing unless I plan on staying in one shape for more than a day. I once spent three months in human form, in my own world. Here, I usually miss the water after a week or two and change back."
A pause, and then she adds, "If I spend more time in human form than I have been lately, it isn't entirely because of you, or this. I'd stopped changing when the button appeared in the warden lounge. Because it would kill me if I were mid-transformation when it was pressed. But I don't have to worry about that anymore, and I like having legs some of the time."
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"Maybe while you have legs, you'd like to come eat some night with Dad and Trixie and me?"
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"Oh," the invitation surprises her, and she's not sure what to do with it. She never expects to see her own family again. The closest she has these days is Warren, who feels more like a part of her heart than anything else.
But she's met Kiryu before, and he and Trixie matter to Taylor. It doesn't even occur to her to say no. "Of course. I'd like that. He showed me how to use the karaoke machines awhile ago, you know, but since I can't read, I just chose songs at random and invented nonsense lyrics for them."
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