He has never been so goddamn glad for werewolf strength as when he can just hold her there in his arms and not worry about anything else but having her, but squeezing her tight-but-careful, and burying his nose against her shoulder.
"There's my girl. God, I missed you. I'm so glad you're safe. I'm so so glad you're safe."
"I was never going to graduate on that ship," Ulla tells him,
tipping her head to rest against Warren's. It felt hopeless. "If I'd had
my magic I might have tried to wreck the whole thing."
"And I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."
She still doesn't feel quite at home in her own skin, the beautiful silver
scales she never expected to see again, like human clothing that no longer
fits. But she feels at home here, with Warren holding onto her.
He can't help a low chuckle, one with so very little humor and so very great joy, because there's nothing funny about any of it, even to him... but he's just so happy to have her back.
"I told you, sweetheart. I would have found you. We're-"
And the words are rushing out of him, utterly without his brain engaged in a way that's so very Not Him, but he's been going mad for weeks. And he's thought it over so many times in that time: when he got back to her? He'd never want to let her go.
He swallows hard.
"You're not just my inmate, Ulla. You're not-" he swallows again, and there'd been a moment of fear, a terrible moment where he wasn't sure if he should let it out but he'd promised her, promised and he'd never go back on it.
"Come with me," and now he lifts her up a little so they can look at one another eye to eye, his chest heaving with emotion even if he could hold her all day, "when you graduate, when you're done- I don't-
Oh. Ulla wasn't expecting that, despite the two years they've spent
together. He'd been after her to want something besides revenge, something
to hold onto once she achieves that, but it seemed impossible to think past
that until it was done. She couldn't picture anything.
She can picture this.
"I don't want to lose you either," Ulla says fervently, voice going
slightly hoarse. "And there's nothing holding me there once I've dealt
with Signy and Roffe."
She's saying yes. But she needs to get the words out. This is worth
stating clearly. "I'll go with you."
Her arms tighten around him and she buries her face against the side of
Warren's neck. It's terrifying. It feels like standing on a precipice,
looking down at the rocks below, and leaping anyway. He can't be her whole
world. She had that once, and it nearly destroyed her. But he can be part
of it. She wants to keep him in her life so badly it aches.
He doesn't speak at first, because he's nodding, he's nodding to her that... well, they're going to deal with Signy and Roffe. They will. He promised her. But also because the moment after she accepted, the moment after she agreed, he heard it.
It's on his wrist, after all, has been since they got back on board. And he knows what that beep is. He knows it well enough and he knows that his inmate was in his arms.
His... former inmate.
That's why, shaking, he kisses her temple and he'll shift her over to one side as he lifts his wrist. Werewolf ears are great for a lot of things, but especially for hearing a soft beep in the middle of a deeply emotional scene. And he gets confirmation as he leans in to boop the button with his nose. The 'find my inmate' button... that has nothing on it.
Hoooooo.
His breath comes out in one shakey long exhale.
"You never will, Ulla. You'll never. lose me. again. Because-" he swallows hard enough she'll feel it, "because you- you're free. You're free, sweetheart. You're free."
Ulla goes stiff in his arms, leaning away so she can see Warren's face.
"What? You mean..."
He told her. He told her that he thought the next thing she needed to do
was plan a future for herself, and then he let her sit with that awhile
before he offered one.
Warren was right, as usual. It's very annoying of him, but she can't seem
to summon up any irritation. She just clings to him and takes a few
shuddering breaths, face pressed to his shoulder.
There are tears in his eyes when she pulls back to look, tears in his eyes and the biggest, wildest, toothiest smile on his face. And when he can see that little frown line from him being right, because he's terrible that way, he can't help that he lets out a big, full-chested laugh while he holds her tight.
First he sways a little but then he's spinning them once, twice, and so close.
"I mean what I said, Ulla! I mean. that the most brilliant. most talented. most amazing sildroher this Barge has ever or will ever see..." and his voice lowers a little as he nudges her temple with his forehead, "is a free woman."
A soft huff of amusement.
"A free woman with help to get her vengence. And all the opportunities of a deal on this ship available to her." He adds a sway. "And a home with at least one friend. who'll always have her back.
A laugh bubbles up out of her as he spins them, out of sheer, giddy relief.
She can't quite believe it's real yet.
"If you'd offered to help me with my revenge two years ago, I might have
followed through on the urge to stab you." But there's no heat in the
threat now, hints of repressed laughter still lurking under the surface.
She'll let him help now. Her revenge won't feel any less hers because she
isn't doing it alone.
She beams at him. "Wherever we're going had better be near the sea. I'm so
tired of being beached. The other ship didn't even have a tiny pool deep
enough to swim."
Ulla's felt so deeply trapped for the past month that this much freedom
comes as a shock.
He is engaged to Daniel Jacobi; he can tell the difference between a casual threat of violence which is really a show of endearment and the real thing. As for the question of where they're going?
"Well, first off: where we're going? Not yet decided. So. You get to weigh in. And. I'd never dream of being landlocked with you. But. Secondly?" He's looking around now for a place to bring her since he'd like to sit, "we can also decide that after we've taken our fieldtrip together. The world is" heh "your oyster, sweetheart. No need to rush. No need to dampen your light."
He spreads a hand.
"Now we start working on making your future everything. you. want it to be."
She'll sit anywhere that isn't that awful gaudy seashell she had to depend
on for transportation on the Clipper. Warren doesn't have to stand here
holding her all day. Although she certainly isn't complaining about it.
There's something intensely reassuring about having him close enough to
touch again.
"As long as there's water, I don't particularly care where we go." That's
her one non-negotiable point, besides Warren being close enough that she
doesn't lose him entirely.
"Last time we talked about it, I thought I'd have to figure everything out
before the Admiral would let me off the ship." She didn't think she could
have her revenge first. That she could take her time after drawing that
piece of her life to a close.
"Happy to be wrong about that?" he asks with a quick laugh. Then he'll find a good spot, a bench or something close enough, to settle himself down on with her still in his arms. /He'll give her a soft squeeze as they do.
"And while the Admiral would let you off the ship, there's no saying that you have to get going right away. You ought to consider whether there are things you want, a deal you're interested in, people... who matter and... could matter more."
He nudges her lightly.
"I'm here for it. Part of my job, the rest of our lives? Is figuring out what makes us happy. And one of the best tools? Right here. Have you ever considered wardening?"
Ulla goes boneless in his arms as they get settled, her head resting on
Warren's shoulder and one arm slung around him. The relief of having him
back compounded by the relief of having her life back is more than she
dared to hope for.
She isn't going to touch the bit about people who matter and could matter
more. That's to deal with later.
But she frowns at that question. "No. I just wanted out. And what do I
need a deal for?"
He'll nudge her again, very lightly, smiling at her frown.
"I don't know. That's why I asked." He gestures to her. "Maybe you want the ability to shift back and forth without a knife. Or you want your eel tail back. A magic mirror that you can never lose. An island just for you. Or" hmm, he thinks of one of the ones he knows of, "or your daemon, the one we got during that flood. I've considered that one myself: Rune and her little friend were... fun."
He spreads a hand.
"The point is: you're free. And you have me. And we'll figure out the best way to be. But you've got an opportunity here. And" he huffs just a little, "the last thing I'm going to do is tell you that your ambitions should ever be dampened."
Roffe was a dick. Roffe is a dick. He's looking forward to destroying him himself. He hates people like Roffe, always has. Another fucking Cutter, in his mind.
Ulla traces the outline of a few of her silver scales. She does want her eel tail back, which came as a surprise on the Clipper. This one feels like a reminder of all that she lost, or thought could rely on only to discover it was never hers to lose. Not to mention how much less mobile she is on land in this shape.
"I might be able to manage the tail myself. I haven't found my knife to try yet. And I don't mind bleeding when I need to change."
That last suggestion, though...
Hjerte was a blessing, a duet partner who was so much a part of her that she could trust him completely. She never thought she'd have that again. And losing him was a terrible blow she never discussed even with Warren.
"All right, then, so tail? You've got it covered." And he doesn't need to add that she's brilliant and he's got full faith in her; it's in his face.
But watching her reaction to the last suggestion, that's the one that hit: he can tell. He'd had the idea, but he couldn't be certain until it was out. If anyone would appreciate a companion like that? It would be Ulla. And he, thankfully, was the kind of person who only wanted that for her, wanted her to have that.
He'll sway just a little and nod.
"Well. Sounds like you have something you want. And you should get it. You deserve to get it."
"Absolutely not," he says plainly. "Not with this place in the state it's in. They're going to need all. hands. on. deck. Both to clean things up around here? And to keep an eye out on unstable actors."
AKA he fully expects there to be any number of people who are ready to cause trouble.
But he'll give her another squeeze.
"And? I just got you back. I just got... a lot of people back. And it's like I said: no one's pushing me out the door. I'm? Not on a time schedule. And the only person who'd be inclined to hurry me, well-"
He shakes his head.
"Jacobi had people to check on too. And he'll need some time to adjust to the idea of leaving. Same as me."
Her arm tightens around him in return and she nestles in closer, forehead
pressed to the side of his neck. "Then I'll stay."
No deal would be enough to tear her away from Warren right now. Not with
the past month so fresh in her mind. If he decides later to leave before
she has her deal, that's a current to cross when they reach it.
There's very little that would make her tell him no right now, and
moreover, she trusts Warren not to request anything of the sort. But she'll
do him the courtesy of not promising until she hears what he asks. "What is
it?"
"I'll be sure to trip you if you try to run away with him before you manage
to get married," Ulla tells him dryly. A public service.
But she likes the idea of it. That he wants her there, for something that
important. She would have been next to Signy at her wedding, once upon a
time, if she'd been allowed to. If Signy and Roffe had deserved her loyalty.
"I knew I could trust you to take care of that," he says with a big grin before he breathes in deep and breathes out low. He's starting to relax now, having her close.
But there's other logistics to wonder about.
"We need to find a spot for you to swim for the moment. I didn't see much of anything yet in the area below. Think you can magic up a little pond for yourself here?"
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no subject
"There's my girl. God, I missed you. I'm so glad you're safe. I'm so so glad you're safe."
no subject
"I was never going to graduate on that ship," Ulla tells him, tipping her head to rest against Warren's. It felt hopeless. "If I'd had my magic I might have tried to wreck the whole thing."
"And I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."
She still doesn't feel quite at home in her own skin, the beautiful silver scales she never expected to see again, like human clothing that no longer fits. But she feels at home here, with Warren holding onto her.
no subject
"I told you, sweetheart. I would have found you. We're-"
And the words are rushing out of him, utterly without his brain engaged in a way that's so very Not Him, but he's been going mad for weeks. And he's thought it over so many times in that time: when he got back to her? He'd never want to let her go.
He swallows hard.
"You're not just my inmate, Ulla. You're not-" he swallows again, and there'd been a moment of fear, a terrible moment where he wasn't sure if he should let it out but he'd promised her, promised and he'd never go back on it.
"Come with me," and now he lifts her up a little so they can look at one another eye to eye, his chest heaving with emotion even if he could hold her all day, "when you graduate, when you're done- I don't-
"I never want to lose you again."
no subject
Oh. Ulla wasn't expecting that, despite the two years they've spent together. He'd been after her to want something besides revenge, something to hold onto once she achieves that, but it seemed impossible to think past that until it was done. She couldn't picture anything.
She can picture this.
"I don't want to lose you either," Ulla says fervently, voice going slightly hoarse. "And there's nothing holding me there once I've dealt with Signy and Roffe."
She's saying yes. But she needs to get the words out. This is worth stating clearly. "I'll go with you."
Her arms tighten around him and she buries her face against the side of Warren's neck. It's terrifying. It feels like standing on a precipice, looking down at the rocks below, and leaping anyway. He can't be her whole world. She had that once, and it nearly destroyed her. But he can be part of it. She wants to keep him in her life so badly it aches.
no subject
It's on his wrist, after all, has been since they got back on board. And he knows what that beep is. He knows it well enough and he knows that his inmate was in his arms.
His... former inmate.
That's why, shaking, he kisses her temple and he'll shift her over to one side as he lifts his wrist. Werewolf ears are great for a lot of things, but especially for hearing a soft beep in the middle of a deeply emotional scene. And he gets confirmation as he leans in to boop the button with his nose. The 'find my inmate' button... that has nothing on it.
Hoooooo.
His breath comes out in one shakey long exhale.
"You never will, Ulla. You'll never. lose me. again. Because-" he swallows hard enough she'll feel it, "because you- you're free. You're free, sweetheart. You're free."
He buries his face against her hair.
no subject
Ulla goes stiff in his arms, leaning away so she can see Warren's face. "What? You mean..."
He told her. He told her that he thought the next thing she needed to do was plan a future for herself, and then he let her sit with that awhile before he offered one.
Warren was right, as usual. It's very annoying of him, but she can't seem to summon up any irritation. She just clings to him and takes a few shuddering breaths, face pressed to his shoulder.
no subject
First he sways a little but then he's spinning them once, twice, and so close.
"I mean what I said, Ulla! I mean. that the most brilliant. most talented. most amazing sildroher this Barge has ever or will ever see..." and his voice lowers a little as he nudges her temple with his forehead, "is a free woman."
A soft huff of amusement.
"A free woman with help to get her vengence. And all the opportunities of a deal on this ship available to her." He adds a sway. "And a home with at least one friend. who'll always have her back.
"Always."
no subject
A laugh bubbles up out of her as he spins them, out of sheer, giddy relief. She can't quite believe it's real yet.
"If you'd offered to help me with my revenge two years ago, I might have followed through on the urge to stab you." But there's no heat in the threat now, hints of repressed laughter still lurking under the surface. She'll let him help now. Her revenge won't feel any less hers because she isn't doing it alone.
She beams at him. "Wherever we're going had better be near the sea. I'm so tired of being beached. The other ship didn't even have a tiny pool deep enough to swim."
Ulla's felt so deeply trapped for the past month that this much freedom comes as a shock.
no subject
"Well, first off: where we're going? Not yet decided. So. You get to weigh in. And. I'd never dream of being landlocked with you. But. Secondly?" He's looking around now for a place to bring her since he'd like to sit, "we can also decide that after we've taken our fieldtrip together. The world is" heh "your oyster, sweetheart. No need to rush. No need to dampen your light."
He spreads a hand.
"Now we start working on making your future everything. you. want it to be."
no subject
She'll sit anywhere that isn't that awful gaudy seashell she had to depend on for transportation on the Clipper. Warren doesn't have to stand here holding her all day. Although she certainly isn't complaining about it. There's something intensely reassuring about having him close enough to touch again.
"As long as there's water, I don't particularly care where we go." That's her one non-negotiable point, besides Warren being close enough that she doesn't lose him entirely.
"Last time we talked about it, I thought I'd have to figure everything out before the Admiral would let me off the ship." She didn't think she could have her revenge first. That she could take her time after drawing that piece of her life to a close.
It felt like one more restriction to chafe under.
no subject
"And while the Admiral would let you off the ship, there's no saying that you have to get going right away. You ought to consider whether there are things you want, a deal you're interested in, people... who matter and... could matter more."
He nudges her lightly.
"I'm here for it. Part of my job, the rest of our lives? Is figuring out what makes us happy. And one of the best tools? Right here. Have you ever considered wardening?"
no subject
Ulla goes boneless in his arms as they get settled, her head resting on Warren's shoulder and one arm slung around him. The relief of having him back compounded by the relief of having her life back is more than she dared to hope for.
She isn't going to touch the bit about people who matter and could matter more. That's to deal with later.
But she frowns at that question. "No. I just wanted out. And what do I need a deal for?"
no subject
"I don't know. That's why I asked." He gestures to her. "Maybe you want the ability to shift back and forth without a knife. Or you want your eel tail back. A magic mirror that you can never lose. An island just for you. Or" hmm, he thinks of one of the ones he knows of, "or your daemon, the one we got during that flood. I've considered that one myself: Rune and her little friend were... fun."
He spreads a hand.
"The point is: you're free. And you have me. And we'll figure out the best way to be. But you've got an opportunity here. And" he huffs just a little, "the last thing I'm going to do is tell you that your ambitions should ever be dampened."
Roffe was a dick. Roffe is a dick. He's looking forward to destroying him himself. He hates people like Roffe, always has. Another fucking Cutter, in his mind.
no subject
Ulla traces the outline of a few of her silver scales. She does want her eel tail back, which came as a surprise on the Clipper. This one feels like a reminder of all that she lost, or thought could rely on only to discover it was never hers to lose. Not to mention how much less mobile she is on land in this shape.
"I might be able to manage the tail myself. I haven't found my knife to try yet. And I don't mind bleeding when I need to change."
That last suggestion, though...
Hjerte was a blessing, a duet partner who was so much a part of her that she could trust him completely. She never thought she'd have that again. And losing him was a terrible blow she never discussed even with Warren.
Voice low, she admits, "I'd like Hjerte."
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"All right, then, so tail? You've got it covered." And he doesn't need to add that she's brilliant and he's got full faith in her; it's in his face.
But watching her reaction to the last suggestion, that's the one that hit: he can tell. He'd had the idea, but he couldn't be certain until it was out. If anyone would appreciate a companion like that? It would be Ulla. And he, thankfully, was the kind of person who only wanted that for her, wanted her to have that.
He'll sway just a little and nod.
"Well. Sounds like you have something you want. And you should get it. You deserve to get it."
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"What about you?" she asks, trying to keep the trepidation from her voice. "Are you leaving right away?"
She just got him back. She isn't ready to lose him again. Not even for a chance at Hjerte. No matter what he thinks she deserves.
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"Absolutely not," he says plainly. "Not with this place in the state it's in. They're going to need all. hands. on. deck. Both to clean things up around here? And to keep an eye out on unstable actors."
AKA he fully expects there to be any number of people who are ready to cause trouble.
But he'll give her another squeeze.
"And? I just got you back. I just got... a lot of people back. And it's like I said: no one's pushing me out the door. I'm? Not on a time schedule. And the only person who'd be inclined to hurry me, well-"
He shakes his head.
"Jacobi had people to check on too. And he'll need some time to adjust to the idea of leaving. Same as me."
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Her arm tightens around him in return and she nestles in closer, forehead pressed to the side of his neck. "Then I'll stay."
No deal would be enough to tear her away from Warren right now. Not with the past month so fresh in her mind. If he decides later to leave before she has her deal, that's a current to cross when they reach it.
no subject
"I appreciate that, sweetheart. I don't think I could handle it if you skipped off early."
His hand will settle back at his side as he glances around, considering.
"There is one thing I have to ask you, though. And. Keep in mind? You're welcome to tell me 'no'. But I really hope you don't."
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There's very little that would make her tell him no right now, and moreover, she trusts Warren not to request anything of the sort. But she'll do him the courtesy of not promising until she hears what he asks. "What is it?"
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"Would you be willing. and. keep in mind. I'm giving you full aethetic control of your wardrobe for this but-
"Would you be one of my groomswomen? For the wedding?"
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She laughs, because that's an easy thing to give him. As if she would refuse!
"I don't know what mortal weddings entail, but I think I can safely agree to that."
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He has to reconsider that before he moves on.
"In my case, you're probably going to be making sure I don't scoop him up and carry him on my shoulder out the door before the ceremony is over."
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"I'll be sure to trip you if you try to run away with him before you manage to get married," Ulla tells him dryly. A public service.
But she likes the idea of it. That he wants her there, for something that important. She would have been next to Signy at her wedding, once upon a time, if she'd been allowed to. If Signy and Roffe had deserved her loyalty.
Warren deserves this.
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But there's other logistics to wonder about.
"We need to find a spot for you to swim for the moment. I didn't see much of anything yet in the area below. Think you can magic up a little pond for yourself here?"
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